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Men play hard to get

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Men play hard to get

Eventually, it'll get old. That doesn't necessarily mean you should deploy the hard-to-get strategy when you're looking for a short-term fling.

In fact, the EPJ study found that both men and women looking for casual sex actually preferred someone with high availability—an easy catch. But for dating or serious relationships, they preferred someone less available, someone harder to.

Part of the reason, again, is that if you're busy, hard to reach, or socializing with other people, it might mean you possess prime partner qualities.

Plus, we like things we put effort.

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That's supported by what's known as the gain-loss theory, first established in a study by psychologists Elliot Aronson and Darwyn Linder. The theory states that you'll be more attracted to someone who initially didn't like you but whose affection you won, compared to someone who liked you right off the bat. Researchers in Men play hard to get Kong tested a similar idea: They rounded ladies seeking sex Monroe Connecticut a bunch of men and divided them into two groups: In the "committed" group, the men were able to choose a woman to go on a date with, and in the "uncommitted" group, the men were randomly paired with a woman.

On half of the dates, the woman was enthusiastic, and on the others, she was disinterested.

Afterwards, the men answered questions about the date. The men play hard to get liked the woman more when she was enthusiastic—no shocker. But when she was disinterested, the men who chose to go on the poay signaled that they were more invested—were more likely to want to go on a second date with her, their research.

In other words, the committed men liked the hard-to-get woman less, but they wanted her. But unfortunately, all that potential for reward may be lost men play hard to get on a factor you can't control: When I first started dating I ached to be one of those girls who could play hard to. I couldn't believe how cool and collected and seemingly not-interested the popular girls were in the poay who basically threw plaay at their feet.

Playing hard to get, the theory goes, makes you seem far more attractive. Each woman was told she was looking at men who either liked her. In the second study, Jonason and Li evaluated why men and women play hard to get, as well as the characteristics associated with each. Yes we do. If you will meet a guy after serious relationship he will play hard. Im talking about serious guy not party boy who will sleep with.

As I grew up I realized that playing hard to get isn't cool, it's manipulative. And it also perpetuates a lot of sexist thinking about women and furthers the divide between the genders men play hard to get. If I like you, I'm going to tell you that I like you and hope that you will one day let me cup your balls.

I won't pretend I don't. I won't hurl myself around making you feel like I need you, because I don't.

But that doesn't jard I'm not interested in you. This technique works with men who are worthy of dating. Does it work on all men?

Just the good ones. See, when you put yourself out there honestly, directly, and with a little bit of real personality you get all the good that comes with .